Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...