currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING