your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks