He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
that may or may not have been my penis.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend