My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Send us your Text From Last Night!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
