whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
