You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
