Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
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Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.