I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you