I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Send us your Text From Last Night!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.