She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat