He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.