Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize