I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
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The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"