Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."