Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
