Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Send us your Text From Last Night!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You did what with his pubic hair?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
