I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
we're so committed to being not committed
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
