Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
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Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?