for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it