I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look