sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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