If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.