I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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