Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i believe in u and ur pee
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
