Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.