What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"