You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Send us your Text From Last Night!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.