your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
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... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.