The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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