I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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