I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.