I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place