I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.