he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
They have beer where we have blood.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.