I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George