You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.