I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB