I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.