It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me