My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
you made out with another girl for some wings
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?