He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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