So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
