like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Where are you guys?
Drunk
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Shame - the story of my life.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
