Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So I just went to clothing optional bar