It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.