She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.