Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....