I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO