she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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