Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders