He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet